Now what?

It’s amazing how quickly family can crush everything you like about yourself.

My mother picked a fight with me this weekend. Literally. She admitted that she did. What it was about is fairly inconsequential so I won’t bother going into the details of that. What is important though is that in the course of this argument, my mother said some pretty harsh things to me. Called me a fatass after telling me that I spent too much time at the gym (enjoy wrapping your noggin around that one), told me I’m completely untrustworthy, and then proceeded to tell me that I’m ungrateful and essentially told me that I need to find a new place fast cause she doesn’t want me in her home anymore.

Wow.

Now I’ve wanted to move out of my house for awhile. I feel like such a loser living at home, and let’s face it I’m not the biggest fan of my step-dad. But the problem has been that despite my two jobs I truly don’t have the money to rent a place of my own. I know I could get a roommate, but I just really want to be on my own for awhile.

So what? Now I’m supposed to miraculously find a way to afford this? I reworked my budget this morning and even with me cutting everything back to the barest of bare minimums I’m about $400 a month short of having enough. If I can get some good commissions to come through I would be fine, but I hate the idea of essentially gambling on my living arrangement.

Essentially, this is the point I’m at right now: I have a place to live but know I’m not welcome anymore and although I doubt she’ll kick me out, I want to get out ASAP. How this is going to happen I haven’t the slightest clue of, and oh, let’s not forget that I know feel like shit about myself…and I’m apparently fat.

Thanks Mom…you’re the greatest.