BANNED!

I'm trying something out. Or at least I will starting...nowish. I'm banning myself from things for a little bit.

By this I mean not allow myself to do the things that lead to pessimism and inevitably depression for me. If it's bad for my psyche ... BANNED.

Example: I'm watching Intervention right now and feel like I'm gonna cry. There's this dude in it who was stood up at a restaurant alone, and all I can think is how if that happened to me I would sob endlessly. It takes me back to high school and my whole rejection thing. That's no good for me. So why am I still watching it? I need to turn it off, and not watch this show for awhile. BANNED.

Another example: Roth (things are going pretty peachy by the by) has a blog. I check it fairly regularly to see what he's talking about in it. Topics cover various things but usually focus on rock music and motivational bits. Occasionally he writes about chicks he dated at one point or another.

Now, I have no problem with this. What I do have a problem with is things that he says from time to time in regards to the topic. Like in one of his recent posts where he reviews his 08, he states that the quantity of chicks he's dated in the past year had increased, but the quality went down. So he's trying to focus on finding better girls to date in 09.

Hmm. Now before I say anything else I just realized that I probably should find this comforting since he's the one who reached out to me again about a month ago (aka very close to 09), and that we've had a great date already this year. But...I don't know it just kind got to me. I mean dude...we dated for a couple months in 08. All I keep thinking is, 'Ouch.'

Now when I talk to him next I'm gonna have a hard time not being upset. Not because he at all insulted me (he's never talked about me in the blog at all), but because I am choosing to take it personally. I need to stop doing things like this. It only will lead to my upsetting myself, which will only lead to low periods. So... I need to cut out the catalyst. No checking his blog anymore. BANNED.

Last example ... for now: I compare myself to my co-workers way too much. This is a huge problem for me. Since I am by far my own worst critic, I need to keep myself positive. But since I'm still having a hard time completely wrapping my mind around this whole sales thing and I'm the newest to it, it's simply retarded to allow myself to weigh my performance to theirs. I won't match up to their achievements. Not yet at least. No good will come from me using their actions to evaluate my own. So the comparisons must somehow be BANNED.

Just not too sure how I'm gonna do that last one. Such a tempting thing to do, to weigh yourself against those close to you. But I have to figure out a way to block it out. Hmmm...

I think this will be nothing but helpful for me. It totally goes along with my whole not-wanting-to-give-into-negativity thing. Positive action this year, peeps. Positive.