Good idea...maybe? Hopefully not bad...

So I might be on the verge of a very big mistake. Or I might be on the verge of making myself super happy. I’m not sure what it’s gonna be yet.

I’m getting together with Roth tonight. You know, the guy who broke up with me cause he liked me too much. The one who tried to reach out to me about a month ago and I got very sassy with. The one I said I deserved better than.

Yea him. Well … (cough) … I’m giving him a second chance.

This might be a very bad idea. Very very bad. I know this. And it’s highly unusual for me. I’ve always been pretty much an exact Scorpio when it comes to personality profile. I’m very weary to trust once I’ve been scorned, and I don’t normally forget a wrong, even if I do forgive it. So when the guy who made me cry wants to start seeing me again I normally would castrate him for even daring to try to talk to me.

But that’s not happening in this case. I think it’s been because I’ve been missing him so much. And I don’t think it’s just cause of the time of year. I’ve been missing him since we broke up. And when I told him off for trying to contact me about a month ago I cried after wards. Not cause I was mad at him, but rather cause it wasn’t what I wanted to do. It was just what I knew was logical. He hurt me, ergo keep him far away. What I really wanted to do was guilt him then forgive him then kiss him. In that order.

I couldn’t do that at the time, though. Pride and still hurt feels are a bitch. But now…well I feel okay enough to admit that I still like him a lot. And I know I have to keep my guard up. But I want to see what happens.

Maybe I’m morbidly curious. Maybe I’m setting myself up for a lot of pain.

Or maybe it’ll be a really good call, and I’ll be thrilled I made the decision.

Sigh…we’ll find out.