I need a truly honest male opinion here. I need to know what it is about me that turns the fellas off.
No, this is not a depression wallowing post. I'm actually doing pretty well. Despite the most Irecent bout of unevenness I'm relatively upbeat. I feel like i could dive back into it any moment mind you, but I'm pretty secure that I won't.
To quote awesome roomie's blog "Go team crazy!"
Instead this is a genuinely confused post. I really truly don't get it. Why is it that any cute guy I meet that I actually click with on some level winds up deciding to not be interested in me? Someone tell me. Please.
I know I'm at least above average pretty. Not model sickenly gorgeous, but prettier than the herds. Let's say a 6 1/2 or 7...maybe a 7 1/2 on my most outstanding days when the clothing, the jewelry, the make-up, the hair, and the attitude are all at their peek fabulousness. I know I'm smarter than the average person. I have an IQ of like 143 or something like that which is pretty freaking high and I have a mix of both book knowledge and useless trivia stuck in my noodle. I'm funny...or at least I'm told I am often enough to make me think so. I can keep up a good conversation. I truly love doing everything a typical guy likes as well as all the chick stuff that girls dig. I'm creative, passionate, and I've been told sexually skilled. But then parents love me too so I can be sweet and demure when the situation calls for it.
So...what is it about me that negates all that goodness?
Is it my mannerisms? Voice? Tendency to think the blackest humor is the funniest? Interest in odd things? My probably obvious insecurities? Is there some off putting desperation about me due to my fear of rejection? Or is it something I can't even fathom? Like...do I mouth breath and not even know it? I've known people that do that and I know I found it incrediblly odd and gross...so maybe that's it.
The cute guy wound up calling which was great and we talked for like two hours. And now I like him even more. But that was on last Thursday and that Friday he went out of town and now it's Tuesday and I have yet to have any communication with him whatsoever. Now I'm hearing rumor that he's said to a mutual friend that he isn't looking for anything serious. Well freaking great, neither am I. I just want someone who wants to be around me for a night or two a week right now. I'm trying to get my life together. I don't need anything more than that. But I also don't need for the nicest guy I've met in awhile who kisses really well to not want to call me assuming that I want more than I do. It's very frustrating and I hope it's not causing him to move away from just a casual dating situation.
If that's even what's happening. But I don't know what's happening.
I may wind up feeling stupid. I may get a call from him a day or so from now (and by the by, I've reached out a couple times over the past couple days via text since he told me that he would call and I kinda want to see if he does, and he responded which was good but they were short responses which was bad...but I feel like I've done my part to keep the ball rolling) and it'll be good. I kinda hope that happens even though I know how silly that is. But my gut tells me that he's just turned off by something about me and I don't even know what. And that sucks.
So please...just tell me someone (anyone) what the dealo is. If I know, I can understand. It may not prompt any change but at least I know what I'm working with here.
Sigh. Any ideas?
2 comments:
Well... I think you're pretty great and enjoy talking to you. It may sound cliche, but you need to find someone who likes you for you. You're pretty stellar awesome.
Besides, you are still really young and, hence, so are the boys around you. You have oodles of time. Still a sucky feeling, I know.
-Jesster
jess...you six pounds of amazing in a five pound sack! you rock my socks off every day and although that leaves my feet scandalous exposed to the elements I appreciate it!
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