I offically think too much.

So here's a middle school level question that I find myself asking lately - do I really like him, or am I just a fan of the idea of having a significant other?

I met a guy and I've seen him twice now (Yea, yea, I know, two times is too soon to get myself all perplexed over a fella, but this is more a mental inquiry). He's an interesting mix of all the things that I find charming in a fella (opening the door for me, insisting on paying, orders dinner but only after determining what I want ... that sorta thing) and being completely random and keeping me laughing/guessing. He's uber driven and kind, not to mention cute.

So...I like him. That part is undeniable. But what I'm wondering is do I like the idea of having a significant other more?

I'm not looking for anything crazy serious here, Lucky Readers. Nothing has changed in that area. I'm still incredibly busy and trying to juggle fifty things at once. But the last couple guys I've met have made me realize that although I may not want a serious thing overall, I do want some form of a boyfriend. I like going on dates. I like the idea of having someone I care about to do that with. I like the idea of getting even remotely emotionally vested in a guy again. It may be risky, but it's a good feeling to trust someone that much. It just seems appealing to me right now.

This leaves me wondering if my longing for him to call, my checking my phone just to make sure it's working properly, my fighting the urge to call/email/text this guy so that I don't appear desperate...is it rooted in him, or is it rooted in me?

I hope I'm not so subconsciously unaware that I would project feelings onto someone without justification. And I hope that I would be able to tell the difference between infatuation with an individual and a state of mind. But then again I've heard of crazier things, so asking the question doesn't seem out of line.

Although all this will probably be a moot point; every time I talk in even the vaguest of terms about a dude I dig on here it seems to jinx it. So watch, this won't even be an issue in a day or so. But I think I really like him people. I think he's a great guy and I feel like I mesh with him well ... vastly better than the guys I've met...well since C (haven't talked about him for awhile, huh?).

As you guys have probably figured out, I'm still stuck in 15 year old girl mode, and can't really wrap my mind around how to act/think/behave with a guy a like. I may as well walk around in pig tails and a catholic school girl outfit so I can at least look the part...or maybe that will help the situation. Hmmm...