Can't keep Crazy down apparently. He's super tough. He'll rise again.
So here's a quick glimpse in to my nutty, nutty thoughts. If you think this is irksome or strange, just imaging living it peeps.
All I can think about right now is that I'm over-bearing. I'm worried that I reach out to Roth too much and that it's driving him away. I text and call cause I love talking to him (totally cheers me up on bad days, and makes good ones better), but he doesn't really respond much lately.
Probably he's just been busy. Probably I'm being retarded again. Probably I'm freaking myself out for no reason whatsoever. Ugh...but I can't shut the thought out.
I hate hate hate over-bearing chicks. The ones that can't let someone lead their separate life without sticking their nose in it. The ones that debase themselves by begging for attention. The idea that I'm being that is killing me.
What I really can't figure out, though, is am I upset that I'm feeling this way cause Crazy (I'm making him formal now Party People. And I've decided Crazy's a dude) is messing with me again, or am I afraid that once again Roth has decided that he doesn't want to be with me, and it's manifesting in this paranoia?
What if I've made a huge mistake? What if everyone's been right to warn me about starting up with him again? What if this is just stupid remnants of feeling rejected throughout my life til now creeping up at me? What if I'm totally wrong about this and I'm just setting myself up to sabotage a good thing?
Cause we all know how much Crazy loves to make me do that.
Or perhaps it's a bit of all the questions. And that's what sucks right now.
Stupid Crazy. Just stay down, will ya? Please?
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