Someday they're gonna name a disease after me...I just know it.

Do you know what the worst thing ever invented for me is? The internet. On a whim I can search anything I want. And I do. Readily.

But see, it's a dangerous thing to do so when you're kinda convinced that something bad has to be happening to you all the time. Cause then you take your random medical things and make it into much bigger deals.

Like i did last night.

I've been felling sick for about a week and I keep fluctuating between feeling normal and wanting to pass out. It's strange and I don't like it.

So I searched my symptoms last night - drowsiness, nausea, headache, etc. I wound up finding info about diabetes. Diabetes! Now I'm convinced that I have adult onset diabetes and that I'm gonna lose a foot. Fun.

Then this morning I started getting the same weird stomach problem I've been having off-and-on for about a year where i feel extremely nausea after i eat and get incredibly bad indigestion (which translates to PAINFUL burps for ten minutes straight. sounds funny but it really hurts). So I searched that. Now I find info about IBS and a couple other gastro diseases I've never heard of much less now how to pronounce. And I'm convinced I have those too.

I could go on like this people. I've convinced myself that I have herpes before because of canker sores (that was a fun week), which my doctor said probably came from stress (funny huh?), and I have a perpetual fear that a doctor is going to tell me that I have either breast cancer (runs in my family and i have large ladies...I think it's inevitable) or AIDS (totally irrational but I'm ALWAYS coming back to that in my head).

Why AIDS you ask? Because it's scary and incurable and I get sick frequently which is a symptom so of course my doomsday voice in my head tells me I must have it. Logical it is not, but nonetheless that's how my brain works.

So it's awful that I can look up my vague symptoms and find some link to a random crazy disease that I then worry about until my body stops being strange. And ironically its probably causing the additional amount of stress that lets my body get weak and ergo allows me to get sick. Stupid brain...

See, I need to stop letting this happen:

"Oh, I have a sore throat and itchy ears? I must have lupus! See! My random internet searching found one site on the fifth page of results that proves my theory so it's totally true!"

I'm batshit guys. And i need to not try to do self-diagnosis anymore cause it's making my paranoid...more so.

That or maybe it's the parasite I ingested through a tainted water supply that is making my thoughts all silly. Like, it must be eating at my brain and taking away all impulse control. Yea...that must be it! I'll prove it. To the internet!

...dammit.