I officially own my own little geometric shape. The welcome wagon left me a fruit basket yesterday.

So I'm about half way through my second week at work and I must say I love it!!!! I mean I seriously adore the position.

I love the people in the office, the type of work we do, and the way we do it. I felt comfortable, accepted, and at home within the second day and confident in my abilities by the end of the first week. I already can joke around with my coworkers/boss and we've all found several common interests - the coolest of which being a similar taste in film.

I even like my little cubicle. It has a window on one side that looks out on some trees (...and another company's loading dock, but I'll take it anyway) and I put up some pictures and have made it my little nook. Joy!

What's kind of rough though is they definitely are throwing me into the deep end, and I don't get the feeling that I'll be wadding in the kiddie pool any time soon. I mean by the end of the second day I was already being sent tasks by every member of the office (note, there are only seven of us total right now, but still...), being given several big projects by my boss, and being sent tons of emails everyday with information to keep our database up-to-date.

I mean...wow.

Not that I'm complaining. Much to the contrary I'm thrilled. I love that everyone feels confident enough in my abilities to trust me with so much work. Plus I've always said that i would rather be busy than bored, so it's all fitting with that theme.

And apparently I'm impressing my boss by being able to keep up with things as well as I have been. Yesterday she jokingly told me that it's all my fault that I've been getting so much work, because I've proven that I can handle it. I find that funny cause I don't really think I've been working all that hard. I guess I just can't help myself in the over reaching department.

Oh, and then there's the head guy who is very intense, but in a good way. On my first day he pulled me into his office to tell me that he, my boss, and the other important person who hired me were all really impressed by me during the marathon three hour interview and found me to be rather intelligent (great compliment), and that because of that they were expecting me to really learn our rather complicated database system as soon as possible so that I can figure out some ways to make it work more efficiently for us. Mind you, our IT guy hasn't been able to do this in about four years so.. no pressure.

And speaking of no pressure from my head guy, he also told me yesterday that if I can figure out how to customize the database for us I'll get a big bonus. You know why? Cause if I do I'll be keeping them from having to bring in a consultant from the company that made the database, since the company claims that it has to be done specially.

I don't know whether to be complimented by the fact that he thinks I am that damn good, or worried that he somehow thinks I'm capable of such silliness.

But I'll try for it. And try to get used to the mountain of work that I apparently am going to be getting every week. And keep working to the best of my abilities.

Cause I really like this job Lucky Readers. This fast, this strongly, I truly do.

So on my first day, do I take a shiny apple for the boss lady? Is that proper form?

So in a mere 33 hours guess what I start? It's super exciting!!!!!

I GOT A JOB!!!

'Bout damn time if you ask me. My first day is Monday and I am beyond relieved. I need the money and the ability to do something different with my days besides helping my mom around the house and looking for jobs. Seriously, that got old real fast.

The job is with a small but really chill company and its in the entertainment vein so that's exciting. And it's at he same desk every day, which after a couple of the job interviews I went on is a huge relief. I'm just super pumped and feeling like an adult without feeling old so I'm thrilled, thrilled, thrilled!

Oh! Oh! And don't forget, this job means that I can realistically think about going back to Vegas with Neat and getting out to Chicago finally to see everyone who I miss so, so very much, which are two of the most exciting thoughts ever! Hooray!!!!!!!

But what people say about dates and jobs is totally true; you need one to be offered one. I've gotten tons of semi-real calls/e-mails from legit companies, and the boss that I worked for most recently (ya know, the one who wants to hire me but just doesn't have the work) now wants me to do things for pay. It's great in theory, but enraging in the sense that I spent six months hoping and wishing and laboring for the chance to even get one of those, and now they come pouring in just days too late!

Grrr.

Still, I'm super pumped and can't wait for Monday. I just hope I don't embarrass myself or something. Not that I would, knock on wood. It's just how these kind of situations usually play out in my head. What can I say, I'm paranoid. Just part of the crazy I guess.

Anyway, wish me luck Lucky Readers! Hopefully I won't need too much of it...

Nothing beats the hobo life/Stabbing folks with my hobo knife. Oh, no need to worry, I'm just having fun with you no-bos!

So I think I'm gonna find out what it's like to be a hobo soon. Check that life goal off of my list now!

Remember that one job I thought was going to come through and be awesome? Well...it didn't. But I did get an oh-so-not-really-useful "Two members of my board of directors saw some of your work and said to hire you immediately, but we just don't have work for ya so suck it! Ha ha! Oh, and that hiring bonus for the month you worked without pay...yea you only get that if you are fully hired, so you get jack. Tee hee! I'm such a cad!"

I may have paraphrased.

But now I'm going to get to take this setback as an opportunity to put all my belongings into a giant hankie and tie the ends to a stick so that it makes it easy to throw them into a moving train car as i run alongside it, trying to get far enough ahead of it so that I can jump in without hurting myself so that i can ride the rails to my next adventure. And on the way I can do jigs for lunch meat and swap stories for sponge baths. Wee hoo!!

In reality I'm totally not mad at the dude I want to be my boss. Actually, I respect him bunches for being straight with me every step of the way. It's just rough as shit to have someone tell you that they love your work and they are completely impressed by you and to have it not count for anything.

Even rougher (albeit positive in it's own right) thing I found out from this whole job experiment is that I really, really like the advertising end of marketing. I mean, I knew I enjoyed marketing, but I didn't know what direction I wanted to go with under that umbrella besides definitely not sales, so knowing this is great. But knowing that this is what I want makes it that much tougher to have it held just out of my reach...taunting me.

It's like when I'm playing with a string with my cat.

Ohhhhh poor Kendragon! Is the great-job-in-the-field-you-love too high? Maybe I'll lower it just a bit...OH!!!! Too slow!

And yes I still have the street team job with the radio station, but I really don't like it. It's not so much the work that sucks, but rather the horrible inconsistency of it. I mean, I can't even pay for my gas with it, which was why I took the not so great job in the first place. That and I thought it would be a good "in" at a radio station, but that's proving to be a bad plan since no real jobs are ever posted.

Sigh.

So I'm still, still, STILL looking for work and going out of my gourd. But I may have a lead, knock on wood, and that'll be nice if that comes through, knock on wood. I just can't go on anymore bad interviews.

I went to one last week for a "marketing" company. You know, the crappy sales companies are getting really good at making themselves sound like legit marketing firms. That's how I get to these interviews in the first place. Then I figure out during the process that the company is either crappy or basically a pyramid scheme. Par example, at this interview I laughed as I stated how silly I think it is that sales companies try to pass themselves off as marketing firms. Ya know, thinking that someone in HR for a marketing firm would understand my frustration. Instead I get a blank stare as the woman who I soon learned was a complete and total ditz says, "But...marketing is sales."

UGHHH!!!! It's like saying that a bus is a Porsche! I mean yes, they both get ya to where you need to be... but a bus is about getting you there with the huddled masses while a Porsche moves an individual with speed and class. It's just...not the same!

But anyway, I'm going crazy and poor at the same time. It's getting rough to do anything involving money right now, and to make things worse Neat is already talking about going back to Vegas and really wants me to come with her since we had such an amazing time, which I would love to do, but can't afford without a job, so...hooray.

The whole situation I'm in is just depressing. Luckily it's not triggering the crazy, but I'm terrified that it will. I'm just thankful that my friends and family have been great and awesome and patient with me. I mean, my dad has really started to step up to the plate, my mom and her fella have been wonderful since I've moved back in nearly every sense of the term, and my friends are trying to be really chill in their own little ways. I mean, it may not seem like a huge thing to everyone else to have your friends buy you a drink cause they know you can't afford a second one (that's right, I only allow myself one drink when we go out and that's only when I can get it for $5 or less CAUSE I'M POOR!!!!), but it's a biggie to me.

Speaking of family, my sister, her boy, and the kiddies came out between Christmas and New Years and it was amazing fun. Except for the night when I got woken up with one of the littl'uns puking next to my head and then proceeding to do the same down a hallway which I didn't know about until I slipped in it. Umm gross. And a nice reminder of the joys of parenthood. but besides that it was a great trip and I was thrilled to see them. i love that bunch of people more than I can say, y'all.

So now I will end this whining session. Wish me luck Lucky Readers as I try to find a job, which hopefully will not take another six months.

Ugh. Depressing.

Who said regression is a bad thing?

This whole being an adult and finding a job and being responsible thing is for the birds.

I've been out of school for nearly six months now (terrifying thought, y'all) and I still don't have a real job. I mean, I'm working with a radio station and doing very unglamorous street team work since ... ya know ... it's an "in" at a radio station, and I'm nearly at the end of a month long trial holding period thing with a marketing and advertising firm that I really want to work for, but it's not where I thought i would be six months out of college.

I know, I know, I'm totally not strange here in terms of the job. Sadly I'm pretty much the norm, give or take a month or so. It's just so frustrating. And embarrassing to have to admit to other people. Sure, it's something that is a part of growing up and become an adult and all those other Hallmark card-esque statements, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.

Top that joyousness off with the fact that I only just got health insurance today (I got cut off five months ago from my dad's, and I've been looking for a plan that isn't shit ever since), I'm in the process of filling out paperwork to defer my enormous student loans cause of the aforementioned lack of jobness, I'm searching for, finding, and filling out the paperwork for some unclaimed funds of mine, doing my Christmas planning and shopping, and trying to keep in shape and I think you Lucky Readers of mine can see why I think Peter Pan may have had a good idea.

So my new mission is to work on finding a way to regress back to the few perfectly wonderful years of my childhood that I had (ya know, before school and divorce came into the picture) when the most I had to worry about was what board game I was going to play with my sister and whether or not it was warm enough to ride my bike or not.

Any guidance on how to do that? Anyone?

To summarize...the Kendragon is doing fine.

So, so many things to update my Lucky Readers on. Craziness.

So I've been a horrible blogger and have allowed catching up with friends and family/searching for a job/being very-mildly-yet-none-the-less depressed keep me from blogging. Shame upon my head. To make amends, i shall now give a short and sweet summary of what has been happening in my world since graduation.

I came back to Cleveland and almost immediately felt I had made the wrong decision. Although i loved being around my friends (especially Neat - she and awesome roommate are by far the two most important non-family members in my life) and getting to spend time with my family, I couldn't help but miss the people that I love in my other city. Add to that that the job market in Cleveland was even worse than I thought it would be and I very quickly began to kick myself. I applied for countless jobs in both Chicago and Cleveland (at least ten a day for about two months at the peak) with responses only from a few companies that I would rather be poor than work for. It was very, very upsetting to turn down jobs while not having money, and even worse when I got rejected for jobs I didn't even want in the first place. Grr, ya know what I mean?

Needless to say that when I hit the three month mark of this I began to get slightly depressed. Add to that that I decided to stop taking my meds (partly for cost effectiveness as well as seeing if I truly needed them anymore ...turns out I'm good for now, although if I do ever need them again I will not hesitate to start up again under doctor's orders) and I wasn't doing too great for a bit there. But after five months of hard searching and patience I found a job. Actually two. A part-time gig doing street team work (unglamorous but a fabulous in at a great radio station) and a potential full-time one working with an advertising and marketing firm (I'm in a trial period holding pattern thing for another week or so before I find out ... wish me luck!). I'm happily going to juggle both and i feel really good about it. Now I'm feelling really good about my decision, and although I still want to get back out to Chicago some time soon, I'm not feeling like a fool for not taking the risk of staying in Chicago with no money.

On the family front everything has been more or less fantastic. My sister is doing marvelously and I've actually gotten to see her two times with a third coming up very soon. This is the most I've seen of her in one year since she moved away for college! My father can be frustrating at times, but overall he's great, and my mother has been outstandingly supportive - more so than I thought she would be. So...great, right?

So things have been good. I wish I had a fella to call my own, but at the same time I'm completely loving being single. I mean, I went to Vegas and got to flirt with cute guys and have an amazing time with abandon and no concern for who would get upset. I even got to kiss a firefighter while there. Cross fantasy number 25f (kissing a firefighter who spends all day running into burning building and saving kittens and babies...or thats what I choose to believe he would be doing) off the list of things I would love to have happen in my life.

The only thing that has been a little sticky has been on the friend front. Now don't get me wrong, i adore all my friends out here and wouldn't trade any of them for anything. However, they can be a trial at times. Some are causing needless drama while others are being downright moody. There's jealousy and gossip and heartbreak. It's frustrating, but since it's only a fraction of the time that we spend together I'm finding it easy to deal with. I just focus on all the times when we're having amazing fun and doing heart warmingly wonderful things, i.e. picking out pumpkins for the fall, going to Haunted Houses around Halloween, going to the beach, having fire pits, watching baseball, and going dancing downtown. And I can do that cause luckily I have been smart enough to keep out of it, more or less. Hooray!

Yes, Lucky Readers, things are actually going well for me, knock on wood. Not as fabulous as they could be, but I'm getting there. After a fairly rough summer I'm feeling fine about where I am, what I'm doing, and I'm beginning to get an idea of where I'm going. Since I like to have direction, I think that that is just enough to make me declare that I am pleasantly and simply content.

Now I shall lay back in my easy chair and sip my warm apple cider while I watch Good Eats and look at icanhazcheezburger.com.

Ahhh...sip...content sigh.

Let's call this my blogging mulligan.

As per awesome roommate's request...

List 5 things that certain people (who are not deserving of being your friend anyway) may consider to be "totally lame," but you are, despite the possible stigma, totally proud of. Own it.

1. I adore bad reality tv shows. Hear me? ADORE THEM!!!! I used to be ashamed of it, but no longer. It is my vice and I figure it's much better than smoking and drinking too much and other bad vices, so hooray for me.

Do I love...

So You Think You Can Dance? I'm white, so I know I can't. But I wish I could be an angel like those on the show.
American Idol? Amazing. If only for the auditions.
Intervention? I can stop watching whenever I want to ... just one more episode.
Project Runway? You are the metro male in my tv land.
America's Next Top Model? More fierceness than any other fierce thing ever fierced.
Dog the freaking Bounty Hunter? Two words...bear mace! Go with Christ, bra.

Yes. Yes I do.


2) Collages. I love looking at beautiful ones like all those on velvet-and-rust.com which i feature in my blog regularly. But more importantly I make them. And I think they look pretty damn good. For me it's therapeutic and very zen. I can't really draw. And I definitely can't paint. But I do know what looks powerful and moving and when I can't take a picture of it I have no choice but to make it.


3) Speaking of taking pictures, I carry my camera on me at pretty much all times. Mostly cause before I had it, I would always say, "Damn! I wish I had a camera right now!" I like to capture my life without being removed from it. My camera lets me do that. I guess that may not seem lame to everyone, until I point out that I have about 2,000 pictures on my computer right now, and have only had it for about a year. Maybe more, actually... Oh! And I edit pretty much all of them before sending them to friends. This includes red-eye reduction, color editing, etc. It can take hours for big batches. But I adore it.


4) I know way too much random trivia. Not only that, but I often get the unstoppable urge to share it with people who probably don't care about it, one way or the other. Most of it is about entertainment, and in particular film and television. I quote the Simpsons all the time, for instance. All-the-time. Not only that, but I constantly I am filling my head with new stuff. I love watching movies while hitting the IMdB page for it and reading the trivia section.

Furthering this lameness, I've talked with a couple of my friends about starting a team to go to the next pop trivia bowl. Why did we decide to do this, you ask? Because all three of us separately watched the latest one on VH1 and knew most of the answers. And when we realized that the only section we didnt have down hard was The Brady Bunch, we decided that we needed to at least give it a second thought.

It's where my nerdiness prevails more than anyone else's. And I'm damn proud of it.


5) I want to write critical reviews. Specifically ones for movies. That's right. I want to be a film critic. People give me the strangest looks when I mention that. Either they are thinking to themselves that film critics are totally lame nerds or they are thinking that it's a silly thing to want to do. But for as long as I can remember I have loved watching movies and talking about them. Plus I love writing more than just about everything. And when I took a criticism class the reviews i wrote were praised heavily by one of the best critics in Chicago, let alone the Midwest. It's a dream of mine that will come true in some capacity some day. And when that happens, guess who'll be happy. Me, that's who!


Now i'm supposed to pass this on to five more people, but I don't know that many that blog. So this shall end with me. But I will continue to update this more frequently than once every three months. I promise.

Look at me! I'm happy and content! WEE!!!

Okay ... so it's been about a month since I've written on here. So I'm going to give you a hopefully brief update.

Essentially, I am now a college graduate. The ceremony was wonderful and surprisingly fun and I was thrilled to see my family. They helped me to move out of my Chicago apartment and I returned to Cleveland. I desperately miss Chicago and all of my friends there. I wish i could just walk down to the beaches on the nice days and spend my nights hanging out in dive bars with my bestest buddies. But they're there. I'm here. Hopefully I'll be there for a visit soon. But until then, here I stay.

But, I am incrediblly happy to be back in Cleveland. I'm having a lot of fun with my friends out here who are all happy to have me back. We've been exploring parts of the city that I either forgot existed or never knew did, so it's turning out to be quite the adventure. I'm getting closer to my family again, and I'm enjoying the simple things like getting to drive my car and sit outside near fire pits. It's been fabulous.

My girl Neat and I are having amazing fun together. Going to concerts, going downtown to clubs and dancing, seeing fireworks go boom into the night sky ... it's all been amazingly fun! We've also been planning our trip to Vegas (woohoo!), which I think will be super cool. We have another friend joining us and I have a feeling that it will be even more awesome because of it. I simply can't wait. Oh! And I think I will be going out to St. Louis with my family for a little trip to a man-made lake. It's supposed to be super cool, and it should be fun. So...vacations ho!

Overall I've taking care of myself very well. Emotionally I've been more or less relaxed, calm and even keeled. I had one minor argument with a friend that I won't really get into but i don't feel like it was my fault. But nonetheless, I've been keeping balanced and in a good, happy place. As for my physical being, I've been doing good with that. I've been cooking alot, eating well, working out, and I've lost nearly ten pounds. Now if I could only keep it off...

I'm enjoying this bit of downtime that I have between school and beginning to work. Speaking of which, there hasn't been much progress in this department. Until today that is. I had an interview with a company that I would love to work for. I'd be selling ad space, but doing so with individualized packages and with lots of flexibility. I'm super excited about the possibility of working with this company. And the fact that the interview went swimmingly well doesn't hurt at all. I even have another interview setup for tomorrow with them in another branch, so I'm pretty sure that they are interested in me. At least that's what I hope for.

So basically, good things right now. Hooray!